Stop making New Year's resolutions.
Choose your well-being at all times and set your intentions whenever you want.
The end of the year is a time to introspect on our path traveled on the red path during the year that has just passed, and thus to embody all the wisdom, the learnings, that we have accumulated through of the different trials that came our way by chance. It's also a good time to plan and choose what we want to do, our intentions for the next year. Gold, choosing resolutions is useless, because all too often they do not deeply embody the wish to change or resolve a problem at hand in a person's life.
SUMMARY :
- Why is there no point in making resolutions?
- Make intentions no matter when in the year
- Dare to commit to change
- Choose yourself, no one will do it for you
- Face your fear of judgment from others
- How to set an intention and ensure its success
- Summary of the steps to set up an intention that will come true
Why is there no point in making resolutions?
It is certain that they mention discomfort with something. For example, we have all heard many times people tell us that they have resolutions to lose weight, take up sports and quit smoking this year, but without making them come true.
THE Why
LResolutions made don't work because of the motivation behind them. In other words, the cause of the ineffectiveness of a resolution is linked to the Why the person has decided to have such a resolution. Too often, this resolution is not motivated by an intrinsic will. Also, it looks good to come out with a few resolutions that promise personal development on our part to others. So, people who say they want to take up sport, for example, don't really want to. This may be because they feel social pressure to do so. So, these people will perhaps put some actions in place, but nothing effective in the long term.
Make intentions no matter when in the year
Although the season of winter causes us to settle down and introspect our goals and dreams, we don't need to wait a whole year to take stock of our year to know what we should put in place in our daily lives for our well-being. Indeed, we have to do this many times, after every experience we go through. So, we might as well do it every time to stay aligned with ourselves. No need to wait to accumulate a year of experience, or even more, to fill our bag with heavy stones that weigh us down before seeing what we would like to change or see the light of day in our life.
Dare to commit to change
Fear of change is normal. Human beings prefer ease and what they know. What is known is comfortable. It is easier to be in denial and repress what is wrong than to face your demons. But how long can you do this? Until your daily life is weighed down, until you are consumed by what bothers you, until your body gives you warning signals, until you are stopped by your body?
Do not forget that Human beings have an incredible capacity for adaptation. It takes courage to undertake change, but change is necessary. In fact, it is necessary get out of your comfort zone, question things as well as yourself…
Choose yourself, no one will do it for you
What does the effort to truly overcome one's fear by committing to change weigh versus the benefits of well-being that one reaps subsequently? It's all about perspective, change your glasses, choose yourself. The solution to our problems or the things we need to do, only you have it. We simply have to listen to what resonates with us, what our heart tells us.
Face the fear of judgment from others
You may be afraid of the judgment of others, I understand you.
Have you ever read the fable The Miller, his son and the Donkey from the collection of Fables by La Fontaine (1668)? The moral of this fable is this: no matter what you do, whether it is for your own good or on the contrary, there will ALWAYS be someone to tell you that you are on the wrong path. When the fear of being judged by others because of your actions rears its ugly head, you need to keep this in mind.
Only you can know what is good for you. Choose what is good for you, according to you only.
To explain to you how to set up an intention to be sure that it will come true, I will give you a personal example where I had difficulty setting an intention and carrying it out. The example that I am going to describe to you took place at the start of the 2021-2022 school year: when I was teaching in a school and had burnout.
See things face to face: accept the situation
I have accepted the situation unhealthy environment in which I worked until my body gives out, until he stopped me. I didn't want to be in this situation, I loved teaching. All harmful conditions had to be endured at all costs.. At least I could continue to thrive as a teacher if I omitted a certain thing and took even more upon myself. As I have been told many times, it is normal to suffer in the first few years.
I know you have also been in this same situation. When we lie to ourselves, it only works for a moment, because the body will then take the lead in making us see things as they are… and it won't be the gentle method.
I was off work at 25. I no longer recognized myself. My head filled with internalized judgments devaluing myself, I could not accept the situation I was experiencing. I knew one thing: I no longer wanted to continue in this toxic situation. But what to do ? I was torn between the two options I had: staying or leaving this job, because yes, it's just a job. I realized that I had dressed up as the teacher until I thought it was me. No, it was a job where a part of me expressed itself. The same goes for all other things. For example, if you want to work on your excess anger, you must first understand that you are not these excess anger, it is a part of you that expresses itself in a particular situation because of a certain reason. We must learn to identify what is us.
Listen to his little voice, his heart
After donning the outfit of the spiritual warrior, I finally listened to my little inner voice, my heart, which was screaming at me the right thing to do for me, regardless of the judgment others might have of me afterwards. I took a step back from the situation.
Express your intention
I decided to honor myself and CHOOSE what would be best for me : leave this environment which was harmful to me and be happy. It wasn't easy, because I thought about what others (parents, children, colleagues, etc.) would think of this drastic decision. I then remembered that no matter what we do or not, people will judge us. So, we might as well choose ourselves by walking in our truth, what rings true for us.
I PLANNED what to do to get out of this work environment: I wrote my resignation letter, thought about how I was going to announce it to my superior and my colleagues, thought about what I could do next, etc.
Act consistently with your intention
Already that the first step was not easy, then we had to ACT to achieve my new goal: to be happy again by finding peace. Acting in alignment with yourself is very liberating. We feel our heart glowing, lightening... That doesn't prevent there from being nervousness to dare to assert oneself, to speak one's truth, because one is not used to it. However, I can guarantee you that you will greatly benefit by choosing to overcome this discomfort, because you will have honored your truth.
After writing my resignation letter, I gave it to my superior. I announced the news to my colleagues, students, parents, etc.
Introspect the change
At this point, I thought I was done: I implemented my decision. But no. We must now adapt to the changes brought about by the decision and analyze how you feel about them. In my case, it was about doing so in relation to my decision to resign. Although this decision is for the best, it is not at least uncomfortable at times. It's normal, it's the new thing ! What is known is comfortable.
So, it's time to SEE the change implemented and introspect on that.
Integrate the wisdom of lived experiences and lessons
It's here last step of setting up the intention so that it is sustainable. This is'INTEGRATING the WISDOM of lived experiences and lessons in order to to be more aligned with ourselves on a daily basis. That we avoids finding ourselves in similar situations again later. In my case, this translates into no longer agreeing to stay or enter situations where I am taken advantage of to my disadvantage, where I am not respected, etc. …Or rather, I should say, to just accept having and being in harmonious and respectful situations!
Summary of the steps to set up an intention that will come true
Step 1 :
CHOOSE to create a change by listening to his heart and TO PLAN in our lives to be more aligned with ourselves
2nd step :
TO ACT For transform what needs to be changed to be more aligned with ourselves
Step 3 :
SEE the change implemented and make theintrospection on this to be more aligned with ourselves
Step 4 :
TO INTEGRATE there WISDOM of the experiences And lessons experienced to be more aligned with ourselves
Let me know what you think and write me your questions in the comments below.
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How to set an intention and guarantee its success?